[WP] You were blessed with the ability to talk to animals. Problem is they're all condescending jerks who hate humans. It wasn't quite the present I'd hoped for for my 16th birthday, but I'll never forget my first time hearing animals speak. It had been a long 10 hours at school, with the usual timetable, plus supplementary consultations, project work discussions, and club meetings. I don't remember what subjects I had to deal with that day, but I know they were those I disliked. Except lab. Lab that day was mildly exciting. There might have been a couple of unintended explosions. I was trudging through the living room, ready to collapse. Ey, Dipshit is back. I jumped so high I was surprised I didn't crash into our home's low ceiling. I was alone at home. Mom and dad were away at a convention, my brother Al was in a college dorm two states up north, and my sister Anne in France for a school trip. Plus, I've had my fair share of siblings calling m